hippo tales

March 30, 2006

►wEeEEe~!

all of a sudden, bren feels like doing so many things...so many things at hand to handle, but she's really fine with it. she's happy with what she's gotten herself into, at least for now. yes, it may be tiring, but she just wanna give her best..she probably cant cope, but i'm sure she wont break down, cuz of all the support from all her good sisters and dear friends...YaY!....=p

/12:22 AM

March 27, 2006

►WhaTs therE moRe for mE to aSk for?...

i've got them...their understanding, their patience, their encouragement and best of all, their love.

i really love it this way, where i know i'm not alone...not at all...but i hate the fact that i gotta be selfish...for now, i cant care so much already...i really yearn to be happy...at least for now, allow me to be selfish...please...i'm sorry to u..i really am...but.....hmm

the more u give in to me, the more fearful i get...i want u to be happy as well. but no way, its a win or lose situation, one of us gotta give in...i'm not yet ready to tho....give me some time..i hope time will improve everything...

/10:37 PM

►dedicated to me! hee

thank you....=p

"Still On Your Side"

You found a place where you belong
New friends that can do no wrong
That's what you believe
But who is going to be there when you fall
To build up when you are feeling small
Give you love that you need
Who will, I will
When the whole world turns against you,
Ain't no lie

Don't you know thatI will stand up for you
No matter what you are going through
I'm still on your side
Any time day or night
Don't care if it's wrong or right
I'm still on your side

You want to run you want to break free
What you want ain't what you need
Can't you see that I care
I know I'm hard on you sometimes
But when you are looking for the things you can't find
Don't you know who'll be there
Who will, I will
When it's more than you can handle
Ain't no lie

Don't you know that
I will stand up for you
No matter what you are going through
I'm still on your side
Any time day or night
Don't care if it's wrong or right
I'm still on your side

I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there
I'll be there when you need me
I won't let you go
There's nothing I won't do
I'll be there

I will be around when the others let you down
I'm still on your side
Anytime you need help and you can't find nobody else
I'm still on your side...

/12:47 AM

March 26, 2006

►i fear loneliness thats y i m so vulnerable...

Are u feeling the way i do?...

hmmm...sometimes people do some stuffs because...they just didnt want to be alone..me too..some people see me as an independent girl..yes, i may be all by myself to go study alone during breaks and everything..But thats just different.that is not being alone or not or what, thats just discipline- to be able to study well. In actual fact,i hate to be alone..nono, i would say, i hate to feel lonely...yep

this is probably y i treasure my friends so much...i like the feeling of being cared for, just like a little kid. i like the feeling of being able to be there for my friends...and them being there for me..the feeling is just so good. for those who have given me this lovely feeling, u know who u are and i just wanna thank u so so much...! =)

have u ever wondered? are there friends of opposite sex who are very very very close but they are not a couple?..and between them is purely friendship..?i think its not easy to find such friends right?... hmmm...

/11:31 AM

March 23, 2006

►i just miss doing what i just feel like doing..

its just a good feeling to be able to do what u feel like to whenever and whatever u want to...not having to worry about anything...but i guess its really difficult...its almost impossible...isnt it?
really tired of having to worry so much or think so much b4 doing something.

anyway, was just looking through the stuffs in my file today...the things I do in sec sch and jc as well..i really miss those days when i really go crazy with some of my friends...and also, all the little notes with words of encouragement and thanks...every single sweet things my friends did for me, and what i did for them....i can spend hours writing notes to many many of them...and i simply enjoy it...hmm...u know, it feels really good making someone smile....

i found a note in my file today...similar to the ones i wrote to my friends back then...in front it has a big..'SMILE!'..and behind, here's whats written...

'look..the sun wouldnt not rise just because u are sad...
the birds wouldnt stop chirping or flying because u're down..
and flowers wouldnt stop blooming just because u're unhappy...
Despite how sad, down and unhappy u are,
flowers will still bloom, birds will still be singing and the sun will still rise..
Happy or not, time slips away...
life goes on...
why not choose to be happy then?'

i know, its easy to say...i would love to be happy too...who wouldnt right?..but afterall, its not that easy...isnt it?..hai

/3:20 AM

March 19, 2006

►i'm sorry

hmm, i really din mean to be crude or anything. but i just couldnt help it. i guess i was just too tired. i'm so sorry for my lousy attitudes and whatever that have happened. i'm thankful for ur tolerance and i know i couldnt ask for more...thank you..and sorry..

/1:17 AM

March 10, 2006

►=) it takes time..

WEeE~! just back from a camp. a WONDERFUL camp..one of the best that i might have experienced...finally for once, i felt that i gave the kids my best and i am glad i did. they enjoyed themselves, and i could see it from their faces...i finally know the true feeling of this: as a camp insructor, nothing else matters much except giving ur campers ur best and seeing them smile and laugh...=)

-enlightened bren-

/12:25 AM

March 1, 2006

►i never knew this was ever possible...

if u try hard enough,its possible
a special day for me today.a day that made me realised that if u try hard enough. its possible. the grades that i got, i never ever dreamt that i would achieve that. it was never in my dictionary until today.

u know, i have had nightmares of my results. once,i dreamt that i had to retake and another time was that i dreamt that my grades were moderate only. i remembered vividly once, i jumped out of bed and looked at my watch which showed 10+am...i was so shocked that i'm still in bed at that time and why arent i studying!..oh well, and guess what, A's was already over. i was just too paranoid.

i din feel especially anxious today. not as much as when i was awaiting my O's results. i did think of the worst. but i know i tried and gave my best. i studied for all i could and i know i wouldnt be take the stress and pressure all over again if i had to. i really gave my 110% efforts. i tot: if i really din made it through this time, i just gotta ren ming ah..haha

and today, i felt really happy. for sooo long, i finally felt that my efforts are appreciated. really. i shocked myself, as well as my mum, as well as my teacher. perhaps many other ppl as well. when i took the result slip from ms wong's hand, i was much more than happy. she said,'well done, i'm astonished by ur results.' no words could describe how i was feeling. i really wanna thank so many of u especially to those who said 'well done' or stuffs to me like that today. =) and to those mentioned below, i just wanna thank u so so so much...

to my mum: for being understanding towards my studies. she never nag at me to study more. instead, she'll nag me to rest more. i really wanna thank her for that even tho today a bit angry with her ah. when i reached home, she was telling me how well others did and so on. hmm, i was sad that she continued to compare me with the other much much better ppl, those confirm straight As with special paper kind of ppl. i was 'angry' that i told her straight , aiya whatever la. u'll never be contented. i dun care, i happy can already. i dun want talk to u le. HMPH. i bet she felt guilty..hehee..

to my dad: for always waiting for me to go to sleep before he does.and he also always make sure that i wake up on time for my exams and everything. =p

to weimin, qiwei and yewteck: for their continuous encouragement and their ever convincing 'u can do it!' and not forgetting the chicken essence as part of my birthday present that was supposed to replenish my energy after staying up late to burn midnight oil...

to my classmates: for always giving me the motivation to strive even higher to achieve better grades...

to my odac mates: for their generous sharing of notes and tips. for their encouragement and for their company when studying in school. and also not forgetting them as my relaxing mates! they are the ones that help me relief my stress. SPECIAL THANKS to ZIWAN who swims with me and BECCA that never fails to hear me whine..hee

to odac teachers: for their ever encouraging statements and endless efforts to help us in improving our grades. thanks for all the food that they had always used to bribe us into studying harder ...

to ms faezah: for her super many uncountable no. of hours innocently taken up by me for consultation! i really 'pei fu' her. i could see her at the balcony for the whole day for consultation and yet she's still so willing to give up her time for consultation.

to ms sunarfa: for making lessons understandable and building up my interest for chem once again. and also, thanking her for the super uncountable no. of hours taken up by me for consultation!!=x

to mr lim and ruth: for being such wondeful tution teachers that always encouraged and motivate. =)

last but not lest, the most important person!
to dear that stood by my side throughout the whole thing. thank u for putting up with all my nonsense when i get irrational and crazy because of work. thank u for always encouraging and motivating me that i can do it. thank you for always giving me the faith when i seemed to have lost all of them. thank you for being patient with me. thank you for ur ten year series that helped me so dearly. without u, i guessed i wouldnt have been able to survive...thanks dear.

=)

/11:28 PM

►scandalous........

haha...so many scandalous stories nowadays...
so fun! haha...used to see so many happy love stories becoming sad tragedies..but now, i'm beginning to see more happy ones..feeling so happy for my friends who are attached and...for those who are not, i'm waiting or ur scandalous stories! hahaha... k la...wishing those attached ones happiness and joyand continue to be happily attached...and for those not YET, may u have more scandalous stories for me to listen!!haha

-feeling gossipy-
wahahah

/1:48 AM

Tioman